


Oh no, I think I’m catching feelings (we’re just having sex, no I would never call it love)

by GalaxySquish



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Angst, Character Death, Friends With Benefits, It goes by pretty quickly, M/M, Mentions of Sex, One-Sided Attraction, Sad Ending, it’s one am and i just wrote this, jihoon is still a producer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 18:01:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14407497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalaxySquish/pseuds/GalaxySquish
Summary: Jihoon is a well put together person. Well, he was. Not until him. Not until the feelings sunk in.———————-A story made at one am for the hell of it. Based off of Sex by Eden.





	Oh no, I think I’m catching feelings (we’re just having sex, no I would never call it love)

The sky was dark with clouds, and it was raining hard enough to start flooding, but Jihoon remained walking on the sidewalk in his now soaking jeans and sweater.  
The bottle held tightly in his arms in some mock-cuddle fashion was already 3/4 empty, and was slowly filling up with rain water. His walk was now something close to a swaying stagger. His face covered in drops of rain mixed with tears.

A year ago, Jihoon would’ve laughed in your face if you told him about his current state and how he got there. That’s not him. That’s not the well put together, clear-minded, working producer Jihoon. Clearly it’s not, not after him.

It was about nine months ago when Jihoon met him. He was at a bar with some friends, having no intentions of leaving with someone, when a figure parked its self into Jihoon’s peripheral vision. The man was average height, average build, but his face. His face was something else.

In this moment, his face was nothing, but charismatic charm. His cheeks looked chubbier than most, and his eyes were warm. They almost disappeared behind the smile he had aimed at Jihoon. It was adorable. And ironic given how the rest of him looked. 

His black hair was slicked back and he had dangly earrings. The leather jacket and dark skinny jeans he wore were quite the contrast. Who the fuck was he? And why is Jihoon interested? He introduced himself as “Your dream guy.” When Jihoon looked at him as though he was crazy, his smile widened and he held out his hand saying “Kwon Soonyoung.” 

Little did Jihoon know, he would go home with someone that night. Neither of them intoxicated or caring. This started a whole new experience for Jihoon.

They kept contact after that, and kept seeing each other. In fact, sometimes they would just hang out on nights where support was needed. And they became friends-with-benefits. Though it was no strings attached, they still only saw each other. And though they set the rule to not fall, Jihoon, that cliché motherfucker, did. 

Six months ago, a raspy voice said “Hey wanna come over?”, as though it were trying to start something that only it could finish. Now, on most days, Jihoon would absolutely, 100% fall into the lure of the voice. Not today. On this specific night, he had to let out a “Not tonight, sorry.” That was croaky enough to show that he was probably crying like .5 seconds ago. 

“Hey, Jihoon, are you okay?” Soonyoung had said, clearly hearing that Jihoon was most definitely not in the mood. His words were soft and understanding. Just enough to make Jihoon start sobbing the moment the question was finished. Immediately taking action, Soonyoung stated that he would be over in 15 minutes and hung up. Sure enough, 15 minutes later, Soonyoung is at Jihoon’s door in gray sweats and a hoodie, holding a Chinese takeout menu.

His face was full of empathy and feeling. His eyes held the words “It’s gonna be okay.” And his lips were slightly curved downwards, as if seeing Jihoon sad was painful.

The rest of the night consists of Jihoon talking about his horrible day at work; how he’s unable to find a proper beat or get the right lyrics; his frustration towards this and stress about deadlines. Soonyoung sits and listens, and genuinely looks like he actually cares. They feast on takeout and eventually fall asleep on Jihoon’s couch with sound of the TV playing a random show as background noise.

This is when Jihoon started to feel his heart beat a little faster when he sees Soonyoung.

They remained that way, until a month and a half ago, when Jihoon started realizing how toxic his relationship with Soonyoung was. He knew he should tell the truth, he should stop this before it gets worse. He can’t just fall into Soonyoung every few nights. It’s not healthy to fantasize of a strictly platonic and sexual relationship to be romantic. Not this way. Not where he’d hope that anytime Soonyoung had whispered something to him, that I’d have a deeper meaning. He can’t wish for more feelings behind lustful touches.

Soonyoung will start to notice something, he can’t let that happen. What if he slips up and accidentally confesses. What would Soonyoung say. Little did Jihoon know, he would start acting stranger than usual, and Soonyoung would eventually find out.

It was last night when everything crashed around him. They had finished having sex when Jihoon noticed how quiet Soonyoung was, but he wasn’t sleeping. Jihoon wasn’t stupid, he also noticed how soft and gentle tonight was. It almost gave him a bad feeling. 

“What’s up? What’ve you been thinking?” Jihoon says, turning towards Soonyoung. “You’ve been staring at that roof so long, I swear it’s come alive.” He tried joking. Soonyoung stays looking at the ceiling and says. “I think this should end, I don’t love you.” 

His face was completely blank. This never happened. There had never been a moment of him knowing Kwon Soonyoung, where Soonyoung showed no emotion. Nothing was in his eyes that stared straight forward.

That was it, they were sinking. Jihoon couldn’t find one bit of him that was willing to lie to keep this relationship from going down. It was clearly obvious by now, so it wouldn’t have worked anyways. Soonyoung had taken his heart, and he didn’t want it back.

Simple as that. Soonyoung got up from Jihoon’s bed, collected his stuff, and left the latter to his own emotions and thoughts. A dangerous thing indeed. He was screaming and crying for the rest of the night, until he exhausted himself at 5am. He woke up around 9pm, and now it’s 10:30, and here he is.

Jihoon didn’t know where he was going, but he just let himself walk. Eventually he ended outside of an apartment complex.

Soonyoung’s.

Soonyoung’s elderly neighbor, Mrs. Kang, bless her soul, was walking up the steps when she spotted Jihoon. “Are you here to see Soonyoung?” She said with a bright smile to contrast the weather. Jihoon had to hold himself back from letting out a sob, so he flashed a weak smile, and in the most sober voice he could manage, he said “Nope. Just passing by.” As though he didn’t look like a drenched and shaking chihuahua. She seemed to believe it, so she entered the building and waved goodbye with a “Stay safe!”

No promises, Jihoon thought to himself as he continued to stumble around the streets. 

Thirty minutes later, there was nothing alcoholic left in the bottle and nothing good on Jihoon’s mind. He checked his phone to see he had a voicemail. He clicked on it and listened. “Hey, Jihoon, it’s Soonyoung. I just wanna say that I know you love me, but please try to get over me. I only want what’s best for you and what we had wasn’t.” 

Jihoon keeps walking on the side walk, not noticing the crosswalk creeping up on him. “It all meant nothing to me. I thought you were thinking the same, I guess not.” It’s amazing how such usually cold words could be so soft. 

“Please, I don’t want to hear that you were standing outside of my apartment, again.” 

Red light, don’t cross. 

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t love you back.” Jihoon doesn’t notice the headlights, he’s too busy listening and walking. “Maybe if the situation was different, I could’ve—“ The sentence wasn’t finished, the phone broke, and the bottle must’ve shattered because there’s glass around him.

Jihoon could hear screams, and feel pain. Something about 911? Someone must’ve gotten hurt. “Is he okay? Sir! Are you conscious?” Jihoon realized now he was the one who was hurt. He goes to speak, but the only thing he says is “Soonyoung.” Before it all goes black.


End file.
